


Crying eyes and bruised fingers

by EWM



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016) Whump, Desi supporting Mac, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Angus Macgyver (Macgyver 2016), Jack Dalton death, Loss, Loss of a Brother, Loss of a Friend, Mac and desi, Mac dealing with Jack Dalton's death, MacGyver Season 5, Macgyver 5x05, dealing with grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28861983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EWM/pseuds/EWM
Summary: Mac attempts to deal with Jack's death on his own, but Desi finds him and offers him some comfortBased off a MacDesi prompt from tumblr, this ones for you! (I'm really sorry)
Relationships: Angus MacGyver/Desiree "Desi" Nguyen, Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Crying eyes and bruised fingers

The plane was silent, the only sound MacGyver could hear was Bozer’s snoring. All his friends were asleep. Even Riley had managed to nod off, Mac was relieved at that, he thought it might help. He cast his eyes over them all and then got up quietly. He put his glass down and walked to the door of the plane and went through. He shut it softly so as not to wake anyone. He was alone. Then it came, all those tears that he couldn’t show anyone. All that grief and anger that he’d been holding back for the sake of the mission, for the sake of honouring Jack and keeping Riley on an even keel. It poured out, he crouched over the sink, his hands in his hair. He slammed his fist into the marble again and again and again. Then Mac began to cry as he slid onto the floor, his best friend, his brother was gone. Jack Dalton was never coming back. Tears rolled down his face, he squeezed his eyes shut a couple of times to try and make them stop. They didn’t. MacGyver sat there on the floor crying silently because another member of his family was gone. Because he hadn’t been there to save him. Despite everything, despite being assured that he couldn’t have done anything Mac was sure that if he’d just been with Dalton. Like he should have, he could have found a way out for them like he always did. But he wasn’t, he’d failed again and Jack had paid the price. Mac was happy on one level that they had taken down Kovak, that the mission was finally done. But the rage filled part of him thought; too little, too late. He sat there alone and lost. Mac was angry at Dalton, Jack had left him not once, but twice. The man who had sworn he would never leave him, who would always be there, he…he was no more. And of course, Mac was plagued by guilt for even being angry at him. All that remained of Jack Dalton were a set of dog tags that Mac currently wore around his neck under his shirt. He refused to part with the last remnant of him, he would carry what he had left of Jack with him always. Just as his knife although now fixed and replaced several times over made MacGyver think of his grandfather, the dog tags would be the same for Dalton. None of this really helped at this point. Mac’s whole body ached with the loss of Jack, he felt like some part of him had been sliced away never to be retrieved.

Desi was woken up by the sound of Mac’s fist slamming into marble. She registered the shut door to the bathroom and got up. Desi hesitated initially, everyone processed grief in their own way, Mac might not want her company. However she decided that ultimately, she had to check on Mac just to be sure…she couldn’t even really describe what she was looking for or worried about quite. Desi simply knew that she had to check on him. She found Mac weeping silently on the floor, tears streaming down his face. He didn’t even register her coming in, he just stared into space. She shut the door and gently stepped over him and sat herself on the floor next to him. He said nothing, just continued to look vacant. She put her arm around his shoulder and gently took his now bruised hand in hers.

Desi didn’t say anything, she waited. Finally he gripped her fingers in his own, he ran his thumb along her wrist to the tip of her thumb. Then he put his head on her shoulder, tears and grief renewed

_“He’s never coming back, he’s never coming home.”_

Mac murmured the same phrase over and over. He wept into her shoulder as she cuddled him, the duo crushed together on the floor of a bathroom. Desi knew there weren’t really any words or phrases she could say that would help Mac or ease the pain in his heart. All he needed now was someone who could comfort him, who he could be vulnerable in front of. It broke her heart to think Mac felt he somehow couldn’t cry in front of his friends, his family. But Desi also knew more than she wanted to about grief. She’d lost comrades, partners even lovers and had her heart shredded more than once. She had known the dam would break for Mac at some stage. No person was immune to grief, despite Mac’s own conviction that he was invincible and always had to be strong for others.

Eventually Mac’s crying stopped and became rasping breaths, she could feel him shaking. So Desi grasped him tighter with both arms and kissed him on the head. No words were spoken between the two of them. He just sat there enclosed in Desi’s warmth trying to stop himself from shivering. He stared at one of her hands, he started to trace the lines on her fingers and the faint scars she carried across them. He counted each one and followed the lines on repeat until he feel asleep. Desi breathed her own sigh of relief when she picked up on Mac nodding off. She didn’t wake him, she simply stretched her legs out and pushed her feet against the wall then lent back and shut her eyes.

The flight home was long so when they woke up, the rest of their friends were still off in the land of nod. They both got up and stretched and cracked their bones a bit. Mac groaned as he wiggled his sore fingers (he was lucky he hadn’t broken any bones cracking his hand into the marble). He still felt horribly sad, his heart remained bruised. But crying had helped, it eased some part of him. Desi hadn’t offered any platitudes or pity. She’d just been there and let him weep.

**Author's Note:**

> Just as an FYI, the full prompt is below, I only took the first part. If I've got enough energy/heart. I'll try and write for Desi too. 
> 
> MacDesi Prompt/Headcanon: Desi heard Mac's breakdown in the plane and went to hold and comfort him. Letting him release all the emotions he had bottled up and holding him tightly as Mac comes to terms with losing another loved one, letting him know that no matter how much he crumbles, she is there for him right by his side and he doesn't have to go through this alone.
> 
> Later when Mac has resurfaced from the storm of grief, the strength Desi has been using to hold herself together and keep strong for Mac, breaks and Mac has to comfort her as she also mourns the loss of a close friend/mentor.


End file.
